Warning: You Are Not the Victim

Guest post by Mark Tewart

“Our advertising stinks! The owner doesn’t have a clue how to bring traffic in the dealership.”

“Our managers sit behind the desk and talk on the phone to their girlfriends all day and don’t do a thing to help.”

“I need to give our F&I manager the number to the bank, because he obviously has not spoken to them in a while!”

“Low Ball, the used car manager has us buried in all of our used cars.”

“Every flake, mooch and weirdo comes to me. Do I have a sign on my back saying to kick me while I’m down?”

“All everyone wants at this sale is a free gift.”

Do any of those comments above sound familiar? I have heard them all, and too many more to even mention. Hell, truth be told, I have uttered all the above at one time or another in my life. Misery loves company, and company is easy to find. The more crap that comes out of your mouth, the more people will line up to listen and agree. I have never seen a salesperson who is stinking it up willing to seek out and talk to someone who is knocking the cover off the ball. What would they say? “Hey dude, you are crushing it and I suck. I want to stand next to you to see how much I suck and feel even worse in my sucky little world!”

My son is 14 and every day I drop him off at school and tell him the same thing: “Think big, live large and you are in charge.” You are always in charge. If things are good, you are the reason, and if they are bad, you are the reason as well. If you allow even one excuse, you will allow a million.

One time, after a tough defeat in football, my son began to talk about how bad the referees were. I stopped him mid-sentence. I told him if he and his team were better, it would not have mattered. I told him to never blame the referees, coaches or anyone else to me ever again. I did not want to hear it and would not tolerate him promoting his victimhood to me. I told him that even if he thought it were true to not allow his mind to go down that path, because it would not support or grow him in the path of personal responsibility. Just stop it.

There is a fantastic and funny video on YouTube that I invite you to watch. It’s the comedian Bob Newhart playing a psychiatrist and, after a patient would tell him of her troubles, he would yell at her and tell her to “stop it.” Although, I know that not all problems are that easily solved, so many are just that simple. “Stop it.” Stop blaming, tolerating and allowing crap in your mind, your mouth and your life. You are not a victim, so stop it.

We all are human, and we are all capable of wallowing in a nice little pity party while wrapping ourselves in a blanket of shame and blame from time to time. It’s warm, comfy, makes us feel childlike and not in control. Unfortunately, you will never grow up acting like a baby. If your paycheck sucks, you suck. You might not have signed it, but you did fill in the amount. If your sales suck, it is not because the world is against you. The world did not wake up today and in unison say “Let’s make Mark’s world suck today.” Where you are today is exactly related to what you were thinking and saying yesterday.

Nobody goes through life unscathed. There are ups and downs and each up and down will support you in your future if you allow them. If you want to be successful, you must allow yourself to be successful. The first step in allowing yourself success is to take responsibility for wherever you are at, good or bad. Eliminate all images and messages of victimhood. Wherever you are at is perfect. It is exactly where you should be. Where you go from there is up to you.

If you would like my free Special Report “How To Break the Chains of Average,” e-mail me with the word “Average” in the subject to info@tewart.com.

Mark Tewart is a sales expert and professional speaker, trainer, consultant, entrepreneur and author of the best seller, “How To Be A Sales Superstar – Break All the Rules and Succeed While Doing It.” Mark is a Professional Member of The National Speakers Association and The Authors Guild.